Social Media Do’s and Don’ts During a Divorce

Do: 

1. Do ensure your profile is securely protected

Many social media platforms give users the ability to customize their privacy settings. This can be a helpful tool during a divorce. Allowing unfettered access to your content to anyone may not always serve your interests. Only allow friends to view what you post by making your account private. The beauty of customizable privacy settings is that there is no need to end virtual connections with an unfriend or unfollow. So, if you really care about your ex’s Great Aunt Susan feel free to stay friends with her but consider limiting what content she can view on your profile.  

2. Do go through your friends list to make sure you know who can view your postings

Even though you want to keep Great Aunt Susan as a friend there may be other people on your friend or follow list that do not need to be there anymore. A divorce can be a good time to reevaluate some of the connections you have both in real life and virtually. In your long list of friends, there are likely a few that you forgot are there. Take some time to scroll through and see if there is anyone you should remove.

3. Do limit your postings

We all have a friend whose social media feed tends to look like an unedited stream of consciousness. A divorce is not the best time to be that friend. Of course, you should still get to use your social media as you wish but take a pause before posting. Consider if it is true, kind, helpful, and necessary. If you answer no to any of those you may not want to post it. Remember less is more. Your friends and family want to stay informed about your life, but a private message may be a better option than a post.

Do Not:

1. Do not complain about the other party or invite others to do the same 

You may want to say a million mean things about your ex, but we are here to tell you that social media is not the right place. During a divorce, there are so many emotions, but those are likely better shared privately and confidentially. Once something is on the internet it never goes away. Speaking ill of the other party or cheering on others that do paints you in a bad light and can damage your case overall. Furthermore, it increases tensions between parties and makes your case harder to settle.

2. Do not post pictures of yourself that could be used against you

A picture is worth a thousand words and you do not want those words to spark negative thoughts. One thing we would recommend refraining from posting is pictures of yourself with alcohol. Even if the alcohol is not yours or its just water that looks like vodka. It also is not a great idea to post pictures of frivolous spending. If you are in the middle of a case that has contentious financial matters posting pictures of spending, such as purchases or vacations, may send the wrong message.

3. Do not delete posts you have made

If you just stumbled upon this and are thinking to yourself “oh no I did some of those don’ts” definitely don’t delete your posts. This is what we would refer to as “spoliation of evidence” which is a bigger don’t than a poorly thought-out post. Spoliation of evidence is intentionally altering, hiding, or destroying evidence that could be relevant to your case. This is taken very seriously by judges and attorneys. If a post, which is considered evidence, is suddenly deleted it could turn into a bigger problem than if the post had remained on your page.