It may have been a few years ago. Or, it may have been many years ago. Perhaps it was only months. But, when you said “I do,” you meant it. Like most people getting married, you planned to be a happily married couple for life.

But things happen. Life brings change. People change. Whatever the circumstance, you now find yourself considering divorce. The emotions of divorce run from one extreme to another as you journey through the process. You may feel relief and ready to move on with your life. On the other hand, you may feel emotions that are quite painful: anger, fear, sorrow, a deep sense of loss or failure. Remember, it is important to find support for coping with all of these strong emotions.

Because going through a divorce can be an emotional time, having a clear understanding of the divorce process and what to expect will help you make better decisions. And, when it comes to decision making, search inside yourself to clarify your intentions and goals for the future. Let these intentions be your guide.

Take a moment to think about what your personal/individual goals are for this divorce. What is most important to you? Make a list of your top five goals.

Many of our clients have shared their lists with us and they seem to almost universally include:

• I want my children to be okay.
• I want to have as much financial security as possible.
• I want the process we choose to be as efficient and concluded as soon as possible.
• I want to keep attorney’s fees to a minimum.

I would like to end the relationship with my spouse in a manner so we can stand to be in the same room together in the future for events such as our children’s graduations, weddings, and births of grandchildren.

Now, having thought through your primary goals, every time you are asked to make a decision, check your choices against these individual goals. Does “X” choice further your goals? If not, don’t make that choice.

For more information our book Divorce in New Mexico is available on the home page of our website for $14.95.