In our experience, very few people enter into marriage thinking, “well if it doesn’t work out, I will just get divorced.” It is an incredibly difficult decision to make even in the worst situations and thinking about it versus taking the steps forward are two very different things. If your thoughts about divorce are more than fleeting and you have tried to reconcile the relationship with couples and individual counseling, but you are still regularly asking yourself if you should get a divorce—the constant uncertainty should point you to the truth. It is hard to admit that deep down, you know you need to end the marriage and move toward a better future. 

For many people, fear of the unknown is what holds them back. Will I lose everything financially? Will I be okay on my own? Will this harm the children? Living in a continual state of indecision and worry is exhausting. Though you might think that waiting to file for divorce postpones or prevents problems, the anxiety is already doing tremendous harm to your life in the present and preventing you from building a better future. In addition, financial decisions made during this time and without the guidance of a good lawyer you may be unknowingly hurting your future financial stability.

If it is time to take the next step, our experienced family law attorneys are here to educate and empower you with knowledge to effectively reduce uncertainty and gain control of your situation when you need to end your marriage.

Steps Toward Certainty

In New Mexico, when a Petition for Divorce is filed, the Court will issue a Temporary Domestic Order (TDO). This mandatory Order will essentially freeze the status quo as to your finances and your children. Any actions taken in violation of the Order may subject your spouse to serious penalties.)

Many spouses try to protect their interests or get revenge by emptying out bank accounts, hiding records, removing their spouse from insurance, running up debts, and other harmful actions. A TDO prohibits them from taking these types of steps. It also prohibits changing many aspects of your children’s lives. A TDO provides a level of protection during the divorce process that is meant to ensure there is certainty and stability for the divorce process.

Resolve Issues Through Collaborative Processes

To retain the most control over the outcome of your divorce, you should try to resolve as many issues as possible outside of court. When you rely on litigation, both sides present arguments and evidence designed to support their position and make the other side look bad. All decisions are turned over to a judge who no matter how hard they try, will know very little about your personal situation. You have no control over the outcome, and no real way of predicting the decisions.

By contrast, when you work to settle issues out of court, you and your spouse make informed decisions with trusted Counsel. You can develop plans that fit your needs far better than a judge can. If you use the collaborative divorce process, both you and your spouse are represented by your own attorneys who know the law and advocate for your best interests. 

However, instead of fighting in court to impress the judge, the attorneys negotiate with the assistance of other neutral professionals to develop agreements for the division of property, the award of alimony and the custody and visitation plan for your children. This approach can save time and money and prevent a lot of animosity in the process. Perhaps the greatest benefit, however, is the level of control it provides and the privacy you retain. Moreover,  you won’t feel uncertain about the outcome because you will have had a hand in the creation of the agreements. 

Take the Right Steps to Gain Control

At Batley Family Law, we know how hard it can be to move forward and commit to divorce. But we also know that it is necessary to act in order to start building a better life, and we work with you to make the process as stress-free as possible.

If you have been thinking about divorce long enough to know that it is a possibility in your future,  we invite you to schedule a consultation and learn more about the ways we can help you reduce uncertainty and gain control of your future.