By Lucy Benton as published in Divorce Magazine.com
How to navigate your way through the ups and downs of divorce recovery.
Divorce is a painful experience that impacts you in a number of ways. Even though everyone’s divorce history is different, it has a profound negative impact on self-esteem, financial condition, and physical health. If you let your divorce to take a heavy toll on you, the consequences during your divorce recovery will be quite serious.
Regardless of how you got to this point, the question now is where do you go next? You need to figure out what do you want out of life and get back on track as soon as you can.
Doing this alone and without a clearly defined plan is difficult and overwhelming. The good news is it does not have to be this way. While you’re grieving over the divorce, other people are continuing their lives. You need to do that too.
If you want to get back on track as soon as possible, here’s 5 great ways you can try.
1. Stop Thinking of Divorce as a Failure
Most of the people getting divorced think they ruined their lives. Of course, the divorce represents a loss, but did you really mess up everything?
The real reason why your marriage ended may be that it ran its course. About 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce, according to the American Psychological Association. So, almost every second marriage doesn’t last a lifetime. Does that mean that all these people ruined their lives?
The answer is a most definite no. Therefore, the divorce should be treated as a transition to the next phase of your life. This phase will bring you different kind of benefits that help you discover the advantages of a single life.
2. Let Yourself Mourn During Divorce Recovery
Instead of crying every day over what you lost, we are going to take a smarter approach. “Don’t dwell on negative feelings but make room for them,” says psychologist Kate Moreland. “Grieve what you’ve lost and let yourself miss the good things about the marriage. If you fail to acknowledge them, the negative feelings will follow.”
3. Do Not Allow Emotions To Define Your Behavior
Whether you’re feeling angry, unloved, frustrated, or vengeful, remember: these feelings are temporary. Therefore, they don’t contribute to your long-term goals of being loved and happy. For example, if your frustration or anger tells you to go after your ex in court, what does that bring you in the long-term? Nothing. Court hearings and even more hatred, however, await you in the short-term.
Be patient and smart when it comes to managing your emotions and behavior during this critical period, and you’ll be impressed how quickly you’ll be moving away from negativity to a positive long-term vision.
4. Use Your Divorce Recovery to Rediscover Who You Used to Be
When you got married, you had to give up a lot of things you enjoyed, like going out with friends every Friday night. These things did not exactly fit with your marriage but no one now can stop you from doing them once again.
Think about hobbies and activities that you abandoned when you got married. It’s safe to suggest that your love for doing them did not diminish, so why not re-engage? This way, you can take your mind off the divorce and continue to explore things important to rebuilding yourself.
5. Consider Exercising during Divorce Recovery
According to Divorce Magazine, exercising during and after the divorce has many benefits, including more healthy body and mind, more energy, and less stress and pressure. A person who exercises is more confident and full of life, which is exactly what a divorce needs.
If you’re wondering what exercises could be good for you, consider yoga, jogging, working out at the gym, swimming, and dancing.
The Bottom Line
Given that divorce can have a devastating impact on your life, you should know how to take extra care of yourself during this difficult period. These five ways can help you to achieve a better frame of mind and spirit and become a person you always wanted to be.
Remember, a well-thought-out plan can make a big difference in your life and keep you from messing it up even more.