10 Worthwhile New Year’s Resolutions To Make After Divorce
Let 2016 be the year of letting go and loving fearlessly.
Brittany Wong Divorce Editor, The Huffington Post
Optimism is often hard to come by after divorce. But with 2016 here, it’s worth giving some thought to the future and the happier, healthier life you hope to forge for yourself and your family.
To that end, we asked HuffPost Divorce bloggers and readers to share the resolutions and hopes they have for the new year. Read their inspiring responses below — and then share your post-divorce New Year’s resolution in the comments.
1. Model a healthy post-divorce relationship for the kids.
“Even though my children are grown and married, I resolve to continually speak well of their dad in front of them, and to continue to share birthdays and holidays with him and his wife (and our kids, of course). As our kids go on to create families of their own, it’s important for them to know their family of origin is healed.” — Lisa Lavia Ryan
2. Let go of divorce as an identity.
“I remarried in 2015 and have a son with my new husband. Now that I have a new family, I resolve to stop thinking of myself as a divorced person.” — Meytal Markman
3. Take yourself off the back burner.
“Sometimes good parents try so hard to get along that they often forget to take care of themselves. Taking better care of myself and finding ‘me time’ this year will make me a better mother, person and co-parent.” — Michelle Colon-Johnson
4. Co-parent with a positive attitude.
“My New Year’s resolution for co-parenting for 2016 is to look for the positives! I’m setting my sights on our family’s talents, strengths and abilities. This year I’m striving to stay focused on what is working well for our family to ensure positive growth, happiness and stability for us all.” — Lynda Coto
5. Love fearlessly.
“Once bitten, twice shy, so the saying goes. A relationship after a divorce is always challenging as we have to learn to love again with the fear of disappointment. The new love interest always has the most difficult job of trying to balance the highs of a fresh romance with the lows of insecurity and uncertainty. My resolution for the New Year is to love my current partner fearlessly so the relationship can flourish to what it should be. Should it fail, it should purely be because it didn’t work and not because I held myself back and hindered all prospects of growth. Basically, I need to give it a red hot go!” — A.S. Chung
6. Resolve to stay hopeful — and actually make resolutions.
“For several (three, four, okay, maybe seven) years following my divorce I laid off the damn resolutions. Accountability was not my friend. In those days, resolutions looked like washing my hair, putting on pants and stringing words together into a coherent sentence. Saving money, getting to the gym regularly, and smiling at strangers was going to have to wait. No reason to pile on more disappointment and broken promises. But rest assured, the resolutions eventually returned and strangers everywhere are once again subjected to my smiling face.” — Janet Bertolus
7. See the good in the kids’ other parents.
“I want to see the good in my ex for the sake of my children. I don’t want them to grow up hearing only the negative.” — Evelyn Hernandez Parrinello
8. Move on while remaining mindful of past mistakes.
“I have resolved that in 2016, I will leave my divorce in the past and keep my focus on the future, with this caveat: to remain mindful of the lessons learned. No more beating myself up, no more worrying over what I could have done to save my marriage. But no sugarcoating my failings, either. Maya Angelou said, ‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.’ I’m grateful to know better now, so 2016 will be the year I do better.” — K.C. Wilder
9. Embrace life again.
“My New Year’s resolution is to pick myself up off the floor. It’s been a year since separation and I still feel broken.” — Angela Stone
10. Don’t get hung up on small problems.
“My goal? Don’t sweat the small stuff!” — Kelly-Anne Foley
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