Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC-Huffington Post
Do you feel like you will never love again? Do you ever feel stuck? Do you feel like you are in a situation that you cannot get out of? Do you feel like your chance has come and gone? These are the kinds of fears and stories that we tell ourselves over and over again that keep up from moving forward with our lives after a divorce or split. How do we change this? Can we change this? Absolutely! We just need to make certain promises to ourselves, work towards them, and keep them in order the have the life we truly want for ourselves.
1. The past is behind me, I cannot change it.
This is an important concept to tell yourself and truly believe. There is nothing that has happened before this day and this minute that we can change. What we can change are the choices that we make, and the steps that we take in our life going forward.
2. I will let go of all grudges I hold.
The person that a grudge is unhealthy for is you. It is almost guaranteed that the person you are holding the grudge against, is not giving you much of a second thought. Why would you put that kind of time and energy into that situation? It will be an incredible weight off, and help you move forward productively.
3. There is nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it.
You may not be the best, you may not be the start, but you will be able to do it with time and effort. Sometimes that is a victory in and of itself.
4. Accept that you do not have control over everything, but you can make the best of it.
No one has control of some of the curveballs that life throws us, but we do have control of how we respond to it, and how we let it impact our lives.
5. Appreciate each day, because none of us is promised a tomorrow.
While that may feel a bit morbid, nothing could be truer. None of us is promised anything. So do what you love today, be with who you love today, and let them know you love them today.
6. While I was not promised ideal health, I will do everything I can to live a healthy lifestyle.
None of us can foresee what can happen to us health wise. Even the fit people can be taken by surprise. However, we can control the food and drink we put in our body, the products we use on ourselves, and the amount of physical activity that we are getting. While it might not make out health ideal, it can make it better than if we did not attend to these things.
7. Be kind to others for no particular reason.
If you believe in karma, if you believe that what you put out into the universe comes back to you, you want to put good energy out into the universe. Every person we meet if there to tell us something or teach us something. While that might not be perfectly clear at the time, it will be at some point. I can’t think of a better reason to be kind to everyone you encounter. So random acts of kindness for no reason.
8. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is to remove toxic people from your life.
Some people will give the opposite advice and say there are certain people in your life that you need to have a relationship with no matter what. This is simply not true. If the relationship is now, and will always be unhealthy and detrimental for you, let it go. It is ok. Live a life free of that dysfunction.
9. No one sets limitations on you, except for you.
When it comes to what you are capable of, how far you can go in your field, what you can learn and excel at, no one knows what you are capable of but you. No one knows the fire that burns inside of you, and the motivation that you have, that will keep you from ever giving up until your goal is accomplished.
10. You chart your own destiny.
Do not ever feel that someone else is in charge of the direction your life takes, of what you do with your life. You and only you can decide that. They do not have to do the work, and they do not have that fire that burns inside them to accomplish your dreams. Dream big, dream creatively.
“Promise yourself to stress less and smile more. To have strength and courage to venture outside of your comfort zone. To leave your past behind you and appreciate this moment. Most importantly, promise yourself to always live a life YOU truly want to live.” – Unknown